Many visitors to Singapore are amazed at how things work so well here. Even those who have never been to Singapore have heard or seen on TV good things about Singapore. Many things are true, and it is indeed one of the better places to live in on earth. But of course, like everywhere else, there are detractors – the pace of life, other better places to bring up children, more freedom elsewhere; the list goes on – but then again, which place on earth is perfect?

Singapore prides itself in many things. And the country has indeed achieved many things.

Now let us look beneath the veneer of everything-is-good about Singapore, and start with a simple everyday matter – carparking.

There is no secret that cars here cost a lot more than in other countries. So one would think everything related to cars must be top-notch here, what with a first-class transport system in mind. With only about 575 thousand cars versus 5.5 million people (in 2015), the local majority will consider car matters as trivial and not fret too much about them. But like many other things big or small in Singapore, we always have something to fuss about. Now, whether one cares depends on you, your interests and your tolerance limit, and especially if you want to own a car. So here goes.

THE CAR PARIAHS

Take parking, or should I say indiscriminate parking – against an acceptable social norm. It sure smacks of nonchalance or blatant arrogance but such behavior is very common in Singapore. Nothing to do with the rich or famous but just plain idiotic attitude. And we actually have strict laws on this – you could be fined by a traffic enforcement officer if your car encroaches into another lot. That is if it is a public carpark and there is an officer doing his rounds. If not, it is up to a vigilante and there are strict rules too. You have to provide photo proof, fill a form, be willing to stand witness in court, and then hope justice is done. But you probably will never know if your effort has paid off or it is another exercise in futility, and the culprit gets away.

Now, if it happens in a private estate, confronting the culprit can be vexing and pointless, and no one can punish the recalcitrant. The only resort is to leave a note on the windscreen to prick the conscience – not the “please park properly” type but maybe “your mother must be so proud of the way you park your car”. Or as most Singaporeans do, close an eye, shake our head and just mutter away.

ANYBODY THERE?

We have one of the best infrastructures around. Everything including car parks are supposedly top-notch – well designed, well maintained, and well managed. And we all pay for it.

But sometimes, inexplicable as it is how well we pride our efficiency, things do not get done. Even after reminders over two years, the state of CLQ85 in Holland Drive is still as bad as it was. Whether it is lack of time or attention, or just incompetence, it is difficult to tell. Obviously someone is not doing his job, and one wonders what it will take for an official to wake up – after someone trips and gets hurt or a tyre blows out in your face?

And then there is this carpark in Yuhua market in Jurong East. Maybe it was originally built for sports cars with low bodies. Then they realised if you reverse-park a SUV, MPV or van using your rear bumper sensors to guide you, you will whack your vehicle top against the railing. So to safeguard themselves, they install notices to warn you – now, if you don’t read our notice and you hit the railing, you have yourself to blame; we officials are off the hook, we are covered. It is like small prints in a contract – caveat emptor.

RESERVED FOR FINES

Singapore subsidises many things – education, health, housing, etc – and with such a high per capita, it is expected that even those who live in government subsidised housing can afford to own cars. And we even coddle you with ample carparks close to your subsidised apartment so that when you come home in the evening you will have no problem finding a space to park your car. You see, although carparks are open to everyone, a significant proportion is reserved for nearby residents. Identified by red-white lines, non-residents can only use these reserved lots between 7am and 7pm most days. The proportion is decided based on a proper study, so they claim. Logically then, after 10pm you would expect most of these lots to be taken, right? Well, visit the Jalan Bukit Merah ABC market’s multi-storey carpark at night – someone must have seriously screwed up the numbers.

And that is not all. If it happens you cannot find a non-reserved lot but are forced to park in an empty reserved lot (and there could be many such unused lots available at that time), you will face the law. These parking enforcement officers are omnipresent in the tightest carparks where the catch is obviously easier – like the multi-storey carpark next to Lorong 7 market in Toa Payoh. The rule of thumb of public service is to help the people in need but instead of helping non-residents find a parking space, they give you a ticket. They will plead helplessness and implicitly challenge you to write in to the authorities. With all the high tech and super brains in the system, we would think someone can devise a better system, one that can help save a lot of resources: time to circle around trying to find a lot, the fuel wasted, the pollution created, the money wasted, the frustration and bitterness, and sometimes the occasional fights. Reducing the number of reserved lots will certainly help, but will any official ever bother?

But there seems to be good sides too. If you drive to Sunday church, attend Friday prayers at a mosque, visit a temple event or some religious festivity, you can park freely around the area. No traffic wardens, no parking enforcers, no fines. Too bad for those who do not belong to any religious faith or do not partake in such activities, the so-called free thinkers and non-followers, you will not get to enjoy the weekly or occasional freebie. And when you attend funeral wakes, just scribble a note and leave it on your dashboard to inform the traffic warden you are paying respects to the dead – give me a ticket and you could be cursed.

NOCUREMAN: So we are all short of perfect – the bad-ass driver; the manager who has no time or interest; the bad railing design; underused reserved lots; don’t-blame-us traffic warden; and policies that try hard to please. Shall we all turn a blind eye, live and let live, or join them if you can’t beat them? Or maybe, just don’t ever own a car.