IT IS ALL FOR THE LIVING

We are all guilty of herd behaviour. We follow because someone else does it, never mind if it does not mean anything to us. If someone starts to clap, we may also clap without knowing what it is for. We are also more likely to follow suit when we see no harm doing so.

In fact most would do something if there is nothing for them to lose, and even more so if there is a perceived gain. To push the point further, many people appear to be doing kind things to others but with a latent motive, such as pushing an own agenda or simply pacifying an inner guilt – which brings us to the living intent and the beneficial dead.

THE WHATSAPP MYTH

WHATSAPP has propagated a myth. It creates a happy make-believe world, at least at face value. If it is your birthday, there will be endless greetings. When you have a grandson, they congratulate you (as if you made it happen). If someone is sick, the get-well wishes follow. If someone dies, the condolences pour in. Whether you know or don’t know someone well enough, you just follow, like a herd. It is like Apple’s FaceTime – we all want to show our faces and look good in others eyes. No need to consider, everyone in the group chat does it and it costs nothing.

Whether you actually mean it or not is another story. But these compliments or sympathies sure sound real at least until you notice that in between the ought-to-be sad moments someone will post a dirty joke. Then the smileys and thumbs-ups come in quick succession and in just a moment the cyber sadness disappears. The living rejoices again.

THE TWILIGHT SWITCH

A born-again Christian (after finding the rebirth theory not to his liking) likes to smugly repeat the story of why his late father started attending church in his twilight years. The logic was very simple: if it turns out there really is god, he will have his eternal life as promised; if there really is no god, he loses nothing (and no worse than the rest of humankind who believe otherwise). It is a seductive thought, a no-risk stake, like an investment of a very small capital (just time and effort for church) but with potentially huge returns.

You see, the father was a very shrewd businessman – the little to lose, a lot to gain type. The son probably agreed and encouraged the idea. Being the living, and with a hefty inheritance to boot, why argue the unanswerable question. Well, the father has passed on and so far nothing has been heard about his god belief venture. Meanwhile the son gladly continues boasting his father’s tale. Who cares if there really is eternity.

THE BEDSIDE CONVERT

Another father was in and out of hospital suffering from cancer. All his life practising Taoist beliefs, it was a shock when at his death family members were told he had converted to Christianity. How a bed-ridden 90 year-old with little awakeness and awareness was capable of being convinced of the scriptures is anyone’s guess. Well, the ones responsible meant it well: their way is the Christian way, the father is “saved” and the new faith will keep its promise. Whether he was lucid enough to agree and it was furtively done are beside the point. They have achieved their purpose and merits have been earned. They get kudos from their congregation. Never mind the protests, it is done and over. No regret, no guilt. They have peace and sleep well. For the father, who knows.

HELL MONEY

Everyday someone dies. Prayers, eulogies, obituaries, anniversaries – they are supposed to honour the dead, although no one has ever come back to thank anyone. It is no different from how you let the dead go. Loud funerals, few-page obituaries and big send-offs – no one knows how the dead regard them. But one thing is for sure – they make the living feel and look good. Like burning hell money.

 Often we see a few pages of newspaper obituaries for just a single person, likely a very rich one. And the bigger the wreath the better – if you are a company, it is advertisement for both your business and yourself. Respect the dead, but impress the living, the grieving family and especially the surviving heirs. If you can afford it, erect statues and set up foundations. Sometimes the louder the cries and the more tears, the better your image. The gamblers will ask for lottery numbers. Don’t do it if obeying traditional funeral rites embarrass you among your faith. Never mind the awkwardness and pretentiousness: the reality is that satisfying the living far outweighs that for the dead.

NOCUREMAN: You have to give it to the scriptwriters of the Korean dramas. In one scene, someone said “the dead won’t come back to life just because you remember them”. It is not far from the truth – whatever is done by the living for the dead is not for the dead but for the living. It lessens guilt, brings tears of memories, and maybe, maybe, it gives people hope that wishes could be answered, if not by the gods but by the dead. We all do things which serve and benefit our living purpose. Live life, after death we are nobody.